4am frustrations

So, here I am. Haven't been here in a while, but I'm back. Its 4am and Im brushing up on microbiology. But, thats not my issue. My issue is karate again. Its pissing me off. Yesterday, I went to class with Bendy-chan to karate and iai. Karate was a gorgeous waste of my damn time. Kyoshi spent time teaching lazy girl everything she shouldve known already, and Bendy-chan was being trained for her black belt. What did I do? Nothing. Tank and I stood there like idiots, and drilled stupid self defense wazas that I could never see myself doing. It pissed me off so bad. When is my yellow belt coming? Its been 6 fucking months. I'm going no where quick in that damn class. Iai was worse. There were only two students there, Bendy-chan and myself, and two instructors, Kyoshi and Sword Sensei. I thought "Oh, cool, we can get individual attention." But, nope, fuck that. Both of them went to help Bendy-chan with one of her new kumitachi while I spent a half a fucking hour practicing #1 cuts just to keep myself tired and unangry.

I can safely say it didn't work. I am just fuming. Even on days like yesterday, I'm regarded as no one. Its like I pay someone to ignore or tell me "I need to work on that." Of course I need to work on it!" But, FUCKING SHOW ME WHAT I'M DOING WRONG. So, I spent most of the night juggling whether or not I am going to come back. I was 95% quitting it yesterday, but I figured I would wait and try to cool down. Today, I'm 97% wanting to quit. Whats the point of staying? I mean, seriously. The man probably doesn't wanna put any effort into me b/c I'm obviously not gonna live up here, but thats no excuse to take my money away. He's rejected other students before, but for some reason, he wants me there. Probably b/c I'm Bendy-chan's ride, and he might actually have to get off his big, sweaty ass and teach if she wasn't able to attend.

Fuck that place. Bendy-chan said she was gonna speak to him for me being that she is the highest ranked student, and she's had his ear the longest. Being that I haven't been there long, whatever I say will probably go in one ear and out the other. Do I foresee anything changing? Fuck no. Its gonna be the same. It'll always be the same.

Can I some blue cheese with that?

Well, I'm all moved into my new blue, tilted house. After putting some brand new carpet down, rearranging, and waiting a week for the internets, I am here. What important happened during that time? I got ranked in Iai. I am now a Yonkyu in the art of killing. w00tz. Only took forever. Still not ranked in karate, however, Kyoshi hinted that it was because he didn't have any belts in stock. Joy.

So, I'm going tomorrow with Bendy-chan after classes. She is being taught her last kata for shodan, so its important she gets in with as much time as possible. Me? I'm gonna go there and look cool because thats what I do best. I doubt anything special is gonna happen to me tomorrow regardless. Just more of the same. We shall see.

Anywho, I'm out. Long day tomorrow. *tear*

Once again, we roll

Ok, my Aiki/Karate/Iai blog. I seriously need it because this shall be a great place to vent my frustrations.

So, here I am. I am on vacation back home in New Jersey, and tomorrow afternoon I head back to school. Saturday shall be my big return to karate class, and I am excited. Bendy-sama got ranked yesterday, and I'm extremely hapy for her. This is also a good thing because, according to her, I might get ranked on saturday. That would be nice being I've been waiting for quite a long while for Kyoshi to realize I exist in class. Been a white for 4 months now, and its driving me nuts. I wanna smack every little shodan I see. lol.

So, we shall see what happens on saturday. I shall go over my stuff regardless, however, I highly doubt I shall be ranked. Rawr.